British Billionaire Buoyancy

Yeah, give a military power a few more toys to play with. 

    The United Kingdom, an island isolated from the rest of Europe, aren't only known for their tea. They have one of the strongest known naval forces because of their geographical state. Since the skirmish they faced back in the 40s, they’ve developed quite the anti-submarine force, and as of late June 2024, they’ve been experimenting with a vertical rocket to basically metal-detect the subs from the surface. This is only viable because most war submarines can’t handle the intense water-pressure—if you could convert how much pressure an average Indian has on them to excel in school to scientific pressure, you’d be about halfway there—and were stationed at an average 2,500 feet in depth.  

Now with the knowledge of the Soviet’s war submarines and general common sense to leave the unexplored as it is, let’s go on a quick flashback to 2022, when OceanGate thought it was a lovely idea to do what the British do best and attempt to recover something that isn’t theirs and bring a couple of billionaires—2 of which were proud Brits themselves— down to where the Titanic sank, 3,500 feet below sea level. Shortly following the launch of this little excursion, it was discovered that going underwater with insufficient testing and bad design might have been an oversight, something pretty common for high-class engineers who’ve been studying underwater technology for their entire professional life. Maybe the navy had enough of their country accidently erasing people from existence

Now that the tea-drinkers know of the uncertainty of water on an even closer level, Billionaire Mike Lynch decided to parody his English Billionaire Buddies™ on August 18th of this year by going on a yacht excursion on a forecasted day of windstorms off the warming coasts of Italy. As one might expect, it ended much like the previous attempt of casual relaxation with half of them dying, including Lynch.  

Just like the East Indian tea that the British lost in 1773, the billionaires aren’t buoyant, and the Englishmen are expected to return to the drawing board to prevent any future billionaire tea’s being brewed.

In all honesty, the world should take this as a warning, to not run into uncertainty and do anything dangerous without proper research and caution as to what could go wrong. Both instances were a result of overlooked uncertainty in the name of 'having fun' and potentially could've been avoided if anyone on the operation had a microfiber cloth for their glasses.

I’m forever waiting for the day people look in the sky and decide when the clouds are dense enough to start crying and rush inside, because those are the days we’ll be able to drink hot
tea even when we're healthy.