TeaTalk:101

I’m not sure what it is about my voice, but if I talk just over my vocal-equilibrium, I morph into an 85-year-old hard smoker who ’s never seen ginger root tea in his life. December of 2023, San Francisco, Jumana became Jim after day two of being there. I was rid of my only skill, pure yap, less than 48 hours after landing there.   Luckily, I possessed one druidic power that saved me: the best-friend language   best-friend-language   /ˈ bfFl /   noun   (especially in the context of Jumana and her Insanity) a non-verbal language between best friends that only requires gestures and eye-contact to communicate.   Through some wild stroke of luck, my best friend and I were both accepted into this camp, and I was saved. All I had to do was make eye contact, motion for a drink by cuppi ng my hand, and she’d understand I was getting up to get the blessed ginger root tea in the breakfast hall (it was primordial be so for real I would’ve been done for with...

It is no secret that the great ‘ ol US of A has recently been losing its olive branch...but is that really such a recent occurrence ? For as long as The United States has been “United,” there’s never really been a moment of sentinel silence bestowed upon The Land of the Free. The Revolution, 1812, two world wars, a chilly one, and multiple invasions, only to be followed by Ukraine vs Russia and Palestine vs Israel in our lifetime, the fact that a 250-year-old baby in a world of ancient wars has had this many should be surprising. It’s not. By wielding exaggeration and reification to develop an absurdly serious tone , The Onion’s “Pentagon Warns China Developing Love, the Greatest Weapon of All” sheds light on a dark mark in the United States history with war , unveiling its own absurdity of spending money just to keep their authority.   When a statement is released from the White House itself, it would be unnatural to think they have anything but the country’s health at hea ...